Kanye West on stage
Photo: Flickr

Rap music is a malignant sore on the arse of society. It’s incredibly dull, monotonous and without grace, yet millions of people around the world listen to it every day. Sadly, millions of people around the world also bought ‘50 Shades of Grey’ in hardback – popularity doesn’t always guarantee quality.

Rap music sucks ass… there… I said it. Since when can a ‘song’ get by without the merest hint of a melody, a chorus or a lyric (other than fu** or ni**** ) that can be understood? Actually, since about 1979, when rap music was starting to creep into everyday society.

Now, there are several social reasons why rap music sucks, but perhaps the most compelling reason of all is the fact that it’s utter horseshit. If you want to see the new low to which this genre has descended, just watch Kanye West’s performance at the 2015 Brit Awards.

You will notice that many modern rappers whine on about their awful lives, police brutality and racism. Yet those same rappers wear million-dollar bling, pose with guns and persistently use racist words and sentiments in their lyrics. Oh yes, rappers suck too, and here are five reasons why.

5. Rappers always need a collaborator

Kanye West, Jay Z and Rihanna

How many times do modern rappers now collaborate with someone else? The truth is that, unless you’re Jay Z or Kanye West, you’ll find it very difficult to make your way as a rapper in the music world unless you have a talentless bint singing along in the background. Of course I’m not talking about Rihanna and Beyonce! As if!

Desperately searching for the singing talent and melody that will turn their monstrous verses into mainstream – cash generating – successes, rappers turn to popstars for assistance. Even the most ‘gritty’, downtrodden and principled rappers know they can’t pay for their gold and Ferraris without commercial success.

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Malcolm is a hotshot copywriter and journalist with a flair for the written word. If he isn't writing fabulously entertaining articles for The Bloke Diary, he's working as a copywriter and blogger. If you like what you read, you can hire Malcolm for extremely competitive prices.