The earth is approximately 4.54 billion years old, so it is safe to say that our poor declining planet has been pushing its luck for quite some time now. The end is in sight for this shrivelled OAP, leaving us all with one gloomy question on our minds… how is our dying planet going to bite the dust?

Will it go out in a blaze of glory with a rock anthem to accompany it, or will it choke on its own polluted stink? Will a rip appear in the overused condom which is our delicate atmosphere and impregnate humanity with death and disaster? Only time will tell, and time is running out.

7. The ‘Big Rip Theory’


Dark energy is conquering the universe.

The Big Rip Theory sounds like the opening line to a hyper dramatic, low-budget sci-fi film. But according to Robert Caldwell of Dartmouth College, dark energy couldn’t be more real. Caldwell claims that our universe is expanding, as we all know, under the influence of this dark energy. Imagine that it is being stretched out, getting bigger and bigger. But eventually… all that tension is going to give way to something terrible.

The rate at which our universe expands is constantly accelerating, by roughly 10mph per mile of expansion. The kicker is that with that amount of speed and force, the universe won’t stretch… it will tear. Unfortunately for us, every single thing in the universe will be torn to pieces by this event.

Never fear, dear readers! The likelihood is that this won’t happen for a few billion years yet, and by that point global warming will have made a burnt human BBQ of us all. See? There is always a silver lining.

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