And American Football quarterback releasing the ball
Photo: Wikipedia

42…38…36…hut…hut…hike! For the uninitiated, this gibberish is the language of football – American football, that is. What does it mean? I haven’t got a clue, and I couldn’t even be bothered to research it before I sat down to write this article.

There’s a reason that only two countries play this stop-start game of egg throwing: it sucks ass. So, without further ado, here are the five reasons why I would rather watch Iranian league dodgeball than a game of American football.

5. The players need armour

American Football kit
Photo: The U.S. Army

My message to all American football fans: watch a game of rugby union, and then tell me that your game is the toughest in the world. I have seen ears ripped off, broken noses, dislocated shoulders and swallowed tongues during matches, and that’s just on the bench!

Seriously though, rugby players don’t dress like a crusading Knight when they take to the field. All they need is something to protect the crown jewels and a wry smile.

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Malcolm is a hotshot copywriter and journalist with a flair for the written word. If he isn't writing fabulously entertaining articles for The Bloke Diary, he's working as a copywriter and blogger. If you like what you read, you can hire Malcolm for extremely competitive prices.